The role of a mediator in a mediated dispute is not one of judgment, in fact the mediator's job is to remain 100% impartial in order to facilitate the cooperative conflict resolution processes. Just as both parties in a mediation dispute session come voluntarily, the solution that they agree upon is also voluntary. The mediator's job is only to work each party through the process of coming to that mutually beneficial decision.

During the course of a mediation session the mediator needs to act in a dynamic fashion based on the needs of the people involved. So if one person needs to take a break, or wants to meet with the mediator separately the mediator needs to be sensitive to that, and willing to flow with the needs of the people that they are working with.

A major aspect of the mediation process is cooperation, and thus the mediator needs to facilitate and encouraged cooperation from both parties. Mediation sessions often require the parties to abide by rules such as speaking respectfully, and speaking one-at-a-time. Therefore, a mediator will often present rules from the beginning of the session in order that everyone involved will be encouraged to cooperate. Furthermore, when both parties know that everyone is expected to act and speak in a respectful manner it puts them at ease, because they know that they will not be attacked personally. This is an important aspect of mediation.

Also, the mediator needs to show each party that their own side will be heard out. When people come to a mediator in order to solve their disputes it is only natural that everyone will likely be very sensitive to what is said about them. Naturally, even if there are rules that both sides know that they need to follow, the one who is being talked about is likely to jump in to correct what has been said about them. Alternatively, if the listener doesn't like what the speaker says about almost anything the listener may try to interrupt and correct the speaker. The mediators job is to act in a refined manner and to assure that everyone will have their opportunity to speak.

Things can get pretty heated up in emotionally charged disputes, such as in cases of divorce or employment issues, so the mediator needs to be a source of stability for both parties and work to keep the main issues in focus. When people are angry or upset they will often go off on tangent issues or get stuck on past conflicts which are mostly a waste of time for the purposes of coming to a decision which is satisfactory to everyone. The mediator needs to have a good sense as to which discussions are important to delve into and which discussions are better to be avoided.

The mediators disposition is also very important in order for everyone to feel at ease and comfortable. The mediator needs to be likeable enough to everyone while, at the same time, retaining a totally neutral position.

As you can see, the job of the mediator is not like a trial court judge who makes decisions for each party. Rather, the mediator empowers each party to cooperate and agree on a solution that works for everybody involved.

When choosing any dispute resolution services it is important to consider, not only the honesty and integrity of the arbitrator or mediator, but it is also important to be sure that s/he has a nice personality. After all, you will be working with him/her.

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