In the twenty-first century people are finding themselves working longer hours at their jobs and having less free time. This often means that the relationships one builds outside of work are neglected and sometimes fade into the background. We remain human beings who thrive on relationships, though, and sometimes this phenomenon of working too much can cause us to blur the lines between what is appropriate for a relationship in the workplace.

What is the definition of "Friendship?" There is no one definition, because there are gradations of friendship, but in most cases it begins with trust. You trust this person to a certain degree, and because of that trust you will share parts of yourself with a friend that you would never share with someone else. Within the dynamics of the work environment, however, you must first look to the organizational relationship with the person you are considering a friend, and sometimes limit your relationship because of it.

There is nothing wrong with trusting the people you work with. You trust them to be truthful about what they are saying. You trust them to follow through on commitments. You trust them to tell you when they notice something out of order or out of sync. But you should be careful not to open yourself so far to this person that it impinges on your ability to work together, especially in the tough times.

This is particularly true if you are in a hierarchical relationship where one of you is the other's boss. In these relationships there is potential for disaster if the lines of friendship cross into the areas of divulging important secrets.

If you are the boss, then how do you deal with the issue of disciplining your "friend?" If you are the employee, then how do you deal with being disciplined? How do the two of you rationally assess performance evaluations?

If you are in a hierarchical relationship, yet consider yourselves to be "good friends," there is a temptation to call on the services of that friend outside of work. Perhaps one of you used to be a paralegal in another job. You might call on them for advice about a legal issue. Or perhaps that person used to be a counselor, and you ask for relationship advice.

The temptation is there, and I have seen the lines crossed too many times not to caution the reader to place clear lines between yourself and the degree of friendships you have in the workplace.

We live in a fast-paced environment where work can become our life if we are not careful. This cautionary tale is to encourage all of us to take the time to make sure we have the support we need outside of work, so that we are not tempted to step over the line on the job.